I like to toot my own horn and market myself as awesome friendship material. I will go out of my way to make sure you know that we are good buddies and set up our next luncheon. You don’t even have to lift a finger because I’ll do all the work. So imagine my surprise when I discovered I did lose a friend !!
It takes me like a nano second to make a friend, it just comes easy for me. Working a virtual assistant job helping another blogger with their social media is fun because my one claim to fame is; I don’t know a stranger.
The more friends the better right?
My best skill is that I’m good at talking. Ask any teacher I’ve ever had and they’ll confirm this statement. My husband is laughing as we speak because he says I over do it sometimes by talking too much! Ugh, I like too!
But one dayyyyy, I was a complete brat to one of my BFFs on the phone. I got my feelings hurt and delivered the weight of my drama onto my friend who had been an unwitting participant.
It was ugly, it was harsh and it was unnecessary.
Here is exactly how I lost a friend in 5 dumb steps. If you dish this out too, be prepared to either eat crow or beg for forgiveness. I didn’t realize what had happened until several months later, I was wondering why I never heard from her anymore.
Decline their invitations.
Consistently turning down invitations will signal that you aren’t interested in the same things and possibly make the other person believe you aren’t interested in a friendship with them.
If you can’t attend because of a budget crunch tell them what the problem is.
I had been invited to do some fun stuff with her and her kiddos at a museum. She offered to split the cost of a membership but I didn’t want to spend the money so I ignored her until she dropped it. I didn’t understand what a really cool place it was.
Now I wish I had asked more questions about it.
Leave them out of social events.
You can’t invite every single person to every single function or party that you ever attend. But, it’s always nice to be included. Find out if the host can accommodate more friends, chances are good that you’ll get a yes.
I attended a group function without inviting her.
It was not really my gig but I could have done something to make it work. I reasoned that she doesn’t like to get sitters for her children and never bothered to find out if she would even want to attend.
Ignore them on Facebook.
Facebook is a huge deal now. People aren’t even considered married or in a relationship until their status is changed on Facebook. If you stop commenting or worse obviously ignoring your friend’s pictures or status’ then your message will be received loud and clear.
When I saw that she posted a picture I purposely didn’t comment, hoping she would wonder why and text me. She never did and I was the one left wondering.
I swear Facebook is a stinker when it wants to be or the right phrase is: I’m the stinker this time.
Accuse them of slights.
When you point the finger at someone, it should be because your showing them a stain on their shirt. You’re not their mother, as grownups, we’ve got to remember to play nice and find out facts about a situation before assigning blame.
I fussed at her for something that was not her fault because I thought she was wrong. This goes back to the whole, I got my feelings hurt, episode. I was too sensitive about something dumb and griped at her about it.
She didn’t see it coming and I still can’t believe I did it.
Not offering an apology.
If you were a creep to your friend, call them up and tell them you’re sorry. Don’t rely on the off chance they’re a mind reader and know you didn’t mean it. Say it over text, on the phone or better yet, tell them in person.
I’m willing to bet that you’re forgiven on the spot and the whole ugly incident is immediately forgotten.
This is what I have yet to do. Writing this post is just the kick in the pants that I need to right my wrong and get that lady back on my BBF list. Best case scenario is; she let’s me apologize because she deserves one from me.
I just hope I haven’t waited too long.
Is there somebody out there you owe an apology to?