I really don’t want to tell anyone this. It’s a flaw of mine and I will avoid dealing with it the best as I can, even if it means telling a little white lie. But, sometimes I sugar coat the truth and it’s the same as lying.
It seems that society is on the fence about what is acceptable to say and what is offensive. These days, if you hurt someone’s feelings too bad, you might get sued. Or worse, put on social media for everyone to leer at.
Saying something dumb is not the same as telling a lie. Yet, both are jumbled into the same category. Would we rather be viewed as dumb or dishonest? It’s confusing.
Do we lay it out on the table and tell them straight up what the truth is, even if it will hurt them? Should we be lied to in order to feel better about ourselves? Being thin-skinned is the norm.
Why do we fear telling the truth? Here are 4 white lies that we are guilty of:
1. Hurting someone’s feelings
Most people will jump through hoops to keep from wounding a loved one’s ego. Does this make me look fat? Did you like what I cooked for supper? How does my hair look? Do you love the ring I bought for you?
These are just a few questions that are normal and commonly asked to a spouse. Husbands typically want to stay in the good graces of their wives and, so, will say what they think is expected of them.
They are loaded questions and the answers to them are half hearted most of the time. Don’t ask a question that you don’t really want to know the answer to. Better yet, don’t ask a question you already know the answer to.
You know by telling the truth, it could come back to bite you in the butt. Do you do it anyway or fudge a little so you don’t have to deal with the aftermath?
And if you sugar coat yourself, who’s to say karma won’t show up anyway. Sometimes the truth means you’re damned if you do and damed if you don’t. Political correctness is now an extreme sport.
This one sucks because it’s usually not your drama to begin with but only when someone else wants to drag you into it. Beware of getting your feelings hurt if you don’t comply. The truly mean spirited love retaliation for any reason.
We want everyone to love us. So we make the popular choice and join the herd mentality. Being singled out is never any fun, especially when the spotlight is on your answer. Being disliked because we have a difference in opinion is still a big deal to most.
Getting our way is also another little trick that is borderline lying. When we have our own agenda and see it as a way to attain what we couldn’t being Honest Abe. But is it still deceitful if you bend the truth a little and it doesn’t hurt anyone?
4. Our own ignorance
If we speak without gathering facts and just guess at what the truth is, what do we call that? I would say it’s still sugar coating the truth because we don’t know what the truth is. Maybe we’re lazy or it could be that the truth is unimportant to us.
We are allowed to behave this way because it’s what is socially acceptable. We almost want to be sold a pretty fib than be smacked with the cold, hard truth. Would you claim the truth if you weren’t really sure?
We all grew up on tall tales. Being told a beautiful, feel-good story is fun. But sometimes a factual story is not as well received so we tend to sprinkle niceties throughout so we can still get the same warm fuzzies.
Is being given a brutal truth harder to digest than a charming lie? Believing a salacious lie rather than the boring truth is what tabloids are made of. And people eat this up, so sugar coating the truth is very rarely given an afterthought.
Not all reasons for white lies are sinister. The main subjects of our fibs are loved ones because we don’t want to see them hurting. Other ways we stretch the truth are to garner favor with others, sidestep vendettas, and because we might not know what we’re talking about.
Innocent or not, we all want to protect ourselves or others to avoid disappointment.
What is your take on this? Do you sugar coat the truth? Do white lies offend you?